Everyone Needs A Bedtime Story

Tag: novels

Guest Post from Primula Bond: To write a new erotic novel, or not?

Today I am joined by the lovely and much respected, Primula Bond, who is asking a question I have asked myself on many occasions…

To write a new erotic novel, or not

When I finished my Unbreakable Trilogy last May and waved Gustav and Serena off into the sunset, I felt hollowed out for a while. Vacant. I spent several days, even weeks, staring out of windows or trying to locate my reflection in the bath taps with nary a creative thought in my head.

Keeping the momentum going to create and sustain three novels over a period of just over a year is hard going, although I know that successful Mills & Boon writers, for example, can and do produce four novels a year. Having lunch with a friend who is one of their most prolific authors, I mentioned how burned out I’d felt after throwing myself heart and soul into the turbulent love life of my hot lovers. When I asked if she didn’t she feel the same way, especially with the pressure not only to produce a fresh new romance every quarter but with stern editrices tapping their watches as the deadline approaches, she wagged her finger at me.

The_Silver_Chain

‘Not at all,’ she said, switching her disapproval to the waitress and asking for her glass of water to be changed because she wanted it warmer and with lemon, not ice (A diva? Elle?). ‘Because I love it.’

And of course that’s what it boils down to. Although she does in fact make a handsome living out of her romantic novels unlike most of us, for whom writing can at best be described as a hobby that pays, the reason we all sit down again and again to face a blank page or blank screen, is simple. It’s because we love it.

Not only that, but if you’ve had a modicum of success, and readers other than family and friends (who should never, by the way, be asked to offer a critique because it’s not fair to expect an honest unbiased opinion from your nearest and dearest only for them to endure your sulking and estrangement when it’s not to your liking) enjoy your stories and love your characters and are asking for more, then your writing has moved up a notch from being a mere hobby. It’s become public property, and you owe it to your fans to deliver. To give them something new. Of course you have every right to abandon it and focus solely on the school run and the daily commute, but after a while the urge to sit down in front of that damned blank screen becomes an itch that just has to be scratched.

Calling writing a vocation is a bit up yourself, but surely if you are giving pleasure to people then even if you can’t give up the day job just yet, it’s a talent that you should nurture and share. Because the harsh truth, folks, is that if you don’t, someone else will. Plenty more to fill those shag-me stilettos of yours.

I went away from that luncheon a little humbled. Between you and me, I had already started a novel in a totally different genre. It was sexy and passionate, yes, but it wasn’t erotica per se and it involved at least two deliberate deaths. Gustav and Serena had been put to bed and no-one else from the trilogy appeared to be stepping into the breach.

And yet. And yet. My characters hadn’t really gone away. They were just waiting in the wings. Gustav and Serena had been through their mill, and without spoiling it for anyone who hasn’t yet read Book 3, The Diamond Ring, I won’t reveal what happens to them or their nemesis, Margot.

But I hadn’t created a living, breathing world, spanning continents and oceans, just to let all my lovingly crafted characters vanish into thin air.

The_Golden_Locket

As I wrote my thriller, other characters from the Unbreakable Trilogy started popping their heads round the corner when I least expected it. Fans on Facebook and Twitter were already asking me when I was going to write a sequel, or even a prequel.

One idea was to explore why Serena was abandoned as a baby. That’s still germinating. Another much funnier idea was to follow the fortunes of the strict, enigmatic housekeeper Crystal and the ex Army, monosyllabic chauffeur/chef Dickson. That scenario is also germinating.

But the person who wouldn’t go away, who pushed the others aside to claim my attention was Gustav’s dark dangerous brother Pierre. He creates havoc in the trilogy, goaded by Margot and his own damaged jealousy, especially in The Golden Locket. He tries to seduce and steal Serena then spends much of The Diamond Ring trying to prove that he’s a decent guy underneath all the bluster and deceit.

As soon as he’s in danger of showing his softer side then he gets his come-uppance at the hands of Margot, and is crushed both emotionally and physically.

Which is the point where I wanted to pick him up. I envisaged where he was at the end of the trilogy, and what was going on inside his mind. Has he really changed for the better as he claimed to everyone, or is he still as twisted and destructive as ever? Do leopards change their spots? What effects have his physical injuries had on his personality? How will he react to Serena and Gustav living happily ever after? And whose is the new face who will step into the picture to save him through the power of love – and sex?

diamond ring

As soon as these questions started pouring into my head I kept seeing Pierre out of the ecorner of my eye, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, head tilted, challenging me to come back to him. So the thriller, half written, got shelved for a while.

I took a break from writing when Ted and I took our sons to Paris just before New Year. We stayed in the Marais area , missing the Charlie Hebdo shootings by a few days, and amongst other sights we visited the area south of Montmartre where I imagined Gustav and Pierre had lived as kids – and lost their parents in that fire.

pen and paper

On the Eurostar coming home I opened the notebook I carry everywhere (we have a rule that apart from phones we don’t take devices on holiday so that we can actually communicate with each other for a change). I thought about Pierre, where he was at the point when The Diamond Ring ended, how he was feeling, what he looked like. As the miles unfurled between Paris and London Pierre stepped closer, red in tooth and claw. He was as clear as day to me, right down to the injuries, the scarring, the after-effects of his accident. Right down to what he was thinking when he couldn’t sleep at 5am on the morning of Gustav and Serena’s wedding.

So I decided to pick up the story on the exact day when The Diamond Ring ends, but this time seeing the action partly through Pierre’s point of view, and partly through a new heroine’s eyes.

So as St Pancras, and 2015 approached, I wrote the first line of my new erotic novel.

© Primula Bond 2015

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Bio

Primula Bond has been writing erotic fiction for over 20 years. She has published numerous short stories and novels for Virgin’s Black Lace and Xcite Books and more recently introduced her hot lovers Gustav and Serena to the world in her Sunday Times bestselling Unbreakable Trilogy published by Avon.. She has also run workshops and provides critiques and editorial advice for aspiring erotic and romantic writers for the website Writers’ Workshop.

If you’d like to buy The Unbreakable Trilogy, follow this link- amzn.to/1psGxaT

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Many thanks Primula! Fantastic post.

Happy reading everyone,

Kay x

Looking Back at 2014- Part 2: 10 Years of Writing Erotica

 

 Happy New Year!

2014

Hello again- after my little look back at the non-writing part of my life yesterday, today I’m reflecting on my year in erotica.

As ever, so much seems to have happened!! 2014 began with the release of my anthology of Male domination and Female submission stories – Take Control.

Take-Control-Cov-12014

Take Control is a collection of toe-curlingly sexy tales of bondage and female submission from the pen of best-selling writer Kay Jaybee. From the spankingly delicious Dinner With Tess to a Staged public sex fantasy, an unforgettable alfresco hosing in Deluged, a kinky scientific Experiment, and the realisation of a long-held threesome fantasy in The Necklace, Take Control offers five bite-sized stories that will satisfy any lover of quality erotica.

Buy Links-

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HYI8BHA

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HYI8BHA

Not long after that, in February, myself and my fellow Brit Babes launched our very first (there will be more) anthology!! Totally free in e-format- you can enjoy some fabulous stories from a wide variety of erotica genres.

SJWIT_1

Sexy Just Walked Into Town is a collection of delicious erotic and romantic stories from the Brit Babes. These eight British authors have put together a book of tales to tease and tantalise you, each one a sample of the individual Babes’ voices and styles. You’ll find contemporary, BDSM, same-sex loving, ménage a trois, paranormal, sporty, military, Rubenesque and more. There’s something to suit everyone here including a few Brit Babe collaborations.
Ranging from sweetly vanilla to so-hot-it-will-blow-your-mind, the Brit Babes aim to please in every literary fantasy department. Their heroes are strong, determined and soul-achingly divine and their heroines sassy, sexy and not afraid to grab what they want. Passion and pleasure is the name of the game, romance and raunch a top priority and it all comes with a delightful sprinkle of kink.
With a whole host of awards, best-sellers and accolades between them, the Babes just know you’ll find something in this anthology that will keep you turning the pages and squirming on your seat. Then, if you like what you read here, check out the individual authors’ websites to investigate their collection of published works. Also visit the Brit Babes’ home on the web which acts as a library for the hundreds of books published by them. Tell your friends, spread the word, because one thing you can be sure of, is when the Brit Babes arrive, sexy has just walked into town!

Buy Links (or should that be Free Links??)

http://www.amazon.com/Sexy-Just-Walked-Into-Town-ebook/dp/B00IDAHK16/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1405414552&sr=1-1&keywords=sexy+just+walked+into+town

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sexy-Just-Walked-Into-Town-ebook/dp/B00IDAHK16/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1405414459&sr=1-1&keywords=sexy+just+walked+into+town

The majority of the first part of 2014 saw me writing my last major adventure for Miss Jess Sanders- and in May, I was delighted to announce the publication of the third instalment of The Perfect Submissive TrilogyKnowing Her Place.

Knowing Her Place-New rope

Blurb

With her head full of unanswered questions, exhausted from her fairytale experience at the hands of Dr Ewen, Lady Tia, and the staff of the adult entertainment service provided by The Retreat, Jess Sanders is desperate to leave Scotland, and return to her usual submissive position at the exclusive Fables Hotel in Oxford.

Having been thwarted in his plans to keep Jess at The Retreat permanently, its owner, David Proctor, isn’t willing to let Jess go back to her dominatrix, Miss Sarah, and her employer, Mrs Peters, without sending her on one final mission. Only if she succeeds in her task will Proctor remove the collar of servitude he has locked around Jess’s neck.

With a list of five unknown addresses in her hand, Jess Sanders is placed in a car and driven from The Retreat towards England. With no idea what or who awaits her at the first stop, all Jess can hope for is that her journey will eventually take her back to where she belongs.

To the Fables Hotel, where Jess Sanders truly knows her place.

Buy Links

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Knowing-Place-Perfect-Submissive-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00KI0I8XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400826557&sr=8-1&keywords=knowing+her+place+kay+jaybee

http://www.amazon.com/Knowing-Place-Perfect-Submissive-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00KI0I8XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400826765&sr=8-1&keywords=knowing+her+place+kay+jaybee

It was a very strange sensation saying goodbye to Miss Jess Sanders this year – I’m really going to miss her!!

Paddle at the Ready- Smut by the Sea

Paddle at the Ready- Smut by the Sea

Late Spring also saw my very first Smut event- Smut by the Sea– Scarborough!! As you can imagine, I had a fantastic time- especially as I got to meet many of the Brit Babes street team members! Not only that, but I was given the job of being ‘timer’ during the reading slam- a task I employed with relish!! Never let it be said I can’t wield a paddle…

ETO- accepting 2014 Xcite award

Hot on the heels of this release came the annual ETO Show and Awards- and to be delight and utter amazement, I received a nomination for Best Erotica Writer!!! What an honour!!! An honour that was tripled by being up against 2 of my fellow Brit Babes- Lucy Felthouse and Kd Grace!! When Kd won I am not sure who was prouder- me or her husband!!! Then- when our main publisher, Xcite Books, won Best Erotica Publisher- and we had to collect the award on their behalf, I thought I’d pop with pride.

My ETO experience was made ven better by being joined by fellow Brit Babes Tabitha Rayne, Victoria Blisse, and Lexie Bay- I’ll never forget the moment when we all tasted Lube Ice cream!

ice cream kd vic

September 2014 was a landmark date for me- for that saw my 10th Anniversary of writing erotica!! So much has changed since I began to write- and you can read all my thoughts on the subject here.

I was touched to be asked to write about the changes to the erotica writing business I’ve seen over the past decade by the ETO- and was flattered by all the kind messages about my writing that came from my loyal readers- I appreciate each and every one- thank you.

ETO- 10 yrs of KJBa

Unusually for me, I didn’t write very much erotica for the remainder of 2014- the ‘other me’ Jenny Kane, took up a great deal of my time with her cosier romantic fiction- however, I never stop writing short stories, and I was thrilled to be asked to contribute to a number of anthologies, including Sapphic Smut, The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica, and The Mammoth Book of Erotic Romance and Domination.

Sapphic SmutThe Sexy Librarian's Big Book of EroticaThe Mammoth Book of Erotic Romance and Domination

Which brings us right up to date- and looking ahead to 2015.

Any day now I’ll be announcing the release of a new series of mini stories…

…and then in February- for one more story only- Miss Jess Sanders will be facing her last challenge at the Fables Hotel. My perfect submissive will back for a bonus story to celebrate the release of The Perfect Submissive Trilogy in boxset format!!

After that…well you’ll find out…

Happy New Year to you all- and thank you for all your support.

Kay xxxxx

 

New E-Reader for Christmas? Kink it up!

I hope you had a truly wonderful Christmas!!! If you’re like me, you are probably still feeling full up from all that gorgeous food!! I did try and resist the chocolates, pate, cheese, more chocolate….Naturally I failed- but it was all SO delicious!

If you were one of the many lucky folk who had a new e-reader for Christmas, then here are a few kinky suggestions to get it warmed up nicely!! I’ve been kind and started with a gentle (ish- this is my stuff after all!)- before moving on to the extra hot OUCHY stuff!!

A Sticky Situation

Sticky situation- cariad

Blurb

If there is a paving stone to trip over, or a drink to knock over, then Sally Briers will trip over it or spill it. Yet somehow Sally is the successful face of marketing for a major pharmaceutical company; much to the disbelief of her new boss, Cameron James.

Forced to work together on a week-long conference in an Oxford hotel, Sally is dreading spending so much time with arrogant new boy Cameron, whose presence somehow makes her even clumsier than usual.

Cameron, on the other hand, just hopes he’ll be able to stay professional, and keep his irrational desire to lick up all the accidentally split food and drink that is permanently to be found down Sally’s temptingly curvy body, all to himself.

Buy links

Amazon US-  http://www.amazon.com/Sticky.../dp/B00L4N4JZE/ref=sr_1_13…

Amazon UK-  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sticky-Situation-Cariad-Singles-Book-ebook/dp/B00L4N4JZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1403706109&sr=8-1&keywords=A+Sticky+Situation+kay+jaybee

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Digging Deep

Digging Deep
Blurb

As site supervisor on an archaeological dig, in the grounds of the Ancient Roman city of Leptis Minus in Tunisia, Dr Beth Andrew’s hands are well and truly full. Her first foreign excavation, which she co-runs with the American archaeologist Dr Harrison Harris, gets off to a shaky start due to the jealous interference of Harrison’s ex, and an overzealous student… Love and lust really can cloud even the cleverest person’s judgement!

Buy Links

Amazon UK- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Digging-Deep-Cariad-Singles-Book-ebook/dp/B00L2GR7C0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1404411608&sr=1-1&keywords=Digging+Deep+kay+jaybee

Amazon US- http://www.amazon.com/Digging-Deep-Cariad-Singles-Book-ebook/dp/B00L2GR7C0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1404411692&sr=1-1&keywords=digging+deep+kay+jaybee

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If you are still feeling festive- why not check out, Christmas Kink?

Christmas Kink

Blurb

What’s your favourite part of the Christmas celebration? Decorating the tree with tinsel, the heavenly aroma of cinnamon and fruit from Christmas cakes and puddings, the office Christmas party, a visit to Santa’s grotto, the presents?
Kay Jaybee’s Christmas Kink twists all of these festive traditions into five individual episodes of hot erotica that will leave you fanning yourself with the nearest Christmas card…

Buy Links

Amazon US- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GI2DDQM

Amazon UK-  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Kink-Five-Festive-Fantasies-ebook/dp/B00GI2DDQM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383810527&sr=8-1&keywords=Christmas+kink+five+festive+fantasies

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Quick Kink One and Two

qk1-2

Blurbs

Quick Kink One recounts bite-sized erotic tales of dominance, submission and bondage, as well as instruction, voyeurism and romantic lust.

From the unusual use of a dictionary (A Delivery of Words), the bizarre obsession of an Egyptologist (Bastet), and the after hours indulgences of the staff recreating life in a strictly run Victorian manor house (Through the Crack), to the tale of an intensely sexy female threesome (Routine), Quick Kink 1 provides twelve delicious fixes of straight, bi, and lesbian fantasy.

Quick Kink Two satisfies the reader with twelve bite-sized erotic tales of lust, master and servant domination and submission, bondage, instruction and voyeurism.

From the full-on experience of a journalist at an S&M wedding (The Bride Wore Rubber), to the power games of a mistress and her four willing slaves (Just As She Says), to the private, but instantly sexy adventures of a woman awaiting her part-time lover (Secret Smile), Quick Kink Two provides a tempting dose of straight, bi, and lesbian fantasy.

Buy Links

QK1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Quick-Kink-One-bite-sized-submission-ebook/dp/B008GU4372/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1418723015&sr=1-1&keywords=Quick+Kink+one

http://www.amazon.com/Quick-Kink-One-bite-sized-submission-ebook/dp/B008GU4372/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418723162&sr=8-1&keywords=Quick+Kink+One+Kay+Jaybee

QK2

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Quick-Kink-Two-bite-sized-instruction-ebook/dp/B008GU41P6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1418723238&sr=1-1&keywords=Quick+Kink+Two+Kay+Jaybee

http://www.amazon.com/Quick-Kink-Two-bite-sized-instruction-ebook/dp/B008GU41P6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1418723344&sr=1-1&keywords=Quick+Kink+Two+Kay+Jaybee

iTunes

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/quick-kink-one/id544257476?mt=11&uo=4

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/quick-kink-two/id544238042?mt=11&uo=4

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Take Control

Take-Control-Cov-12014

Blurb

Take Control is a collection of toe-curlingly sexy tales of bondage and female submission from the pen of best-selling writer Kay Jaybee. From the spankingly delicious Dinner With Tess to a Staged public sex fantasy, an unforgettable alfresco hosing in Deluged, a kinky scientific Experiment, and the realisation of a long-held threesome fantasy in The Necklace, Take Control offers five bite-sized stories that will satisfy any lover of quality erotica.

Buy links

Amazon US-  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HYI8BHA

Amazon UK-  http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HYI8BHA

****
Equipment

Equipment

Blurb

To his lust driven delight, Lee Cooper’s opinion that his girlfriend simply doesn’t have the Equipment to take control in the bedroom is quickly and deliciously.

Meanwhile, Kim is sick of her gorgeous neighbour Jack bringing home a non-stop string of unsuitable women to screw, while completely failing to notice the girl right under his nose. Taking extreme measures she sets out to prove she is more than just The Girl Next Door.

Mark’s girlfriend is Searching For Her- the perfect woman to make her lover’s dreams come true. A quest which leads her into the path of more than one willing young lady…

From BDSM action to toy play plus the fun of threesomes, each of the couples in Equipment, gets far more than they bargained for…
Buy Links

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Equipment-Other-Stories-Group-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0096DL33A

http://www.amazon.com/Equipment-Other-Stories-Kay-Jaybee-ebook/dp/B0096DL33A/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1406036656&sr=1-1&keywords=Equipment+kay+jaybee

All Romance- https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-equipmentandotherstories-932970-144.html

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If short stories aren’t for you, how about getting your teeth into a trilogy?

The Perfect Submissive (Book 1)

cover

Blurb

Hidden behind the Fables Hotel’s respectable facade, five specially adapted rooms wait; ready to cater for the kinky requirements of its guests.
When Mrs Peters, the mistress of the hotel’s exclusive entertainment facility, meets the new booking clerk, Jess Sanders, she instantly recognises the young woman’s potential as a deliciously meek addition to her specialist staff. All it will take is a little education.
Under the tutelage of the dominatrix, Miss Sarah, Jess learns to cope with her unexpected training schedule, the increasingly erotic chill she experiences each time she survives a new level of correction, and a truly sexy exercise routine.
Temporarily distracted from her intimidating rule over Fable’s top floor by an enigmatic artist, Mrs Peters begins to plan how she can secure his obedient assistance, in grooming Jess into the perfect submissive…

Buy Links

Amazon US-  http://www.amazon.com/The-Perfect-Submissive-length-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B008GNDT3I/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top 

Amazon UK- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Perfect-Submissive-length-erotic-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B008GNDT3I/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1404232107&sr=1-1&keywords=the+perfect+submissive+kay+jaybee

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The Retreat (Book 2)

The Retreat- New rope

Blurb

It’s been six months since Jess Sanders allowed herself to accept that the role of submissive on the exclusive adult entertainment floor of the Fables Hotel was a job she was born to do. Now Jess’s boss, Mrs Peters, informs her, and the resident dominatrix, Miss Sarah, that they have been loaned to one of her clients, who wishes to start an adult retreat, hidden away in the remote glens of Scotland. Suddenly, Jess has to come to terms that she might not be as perfect a submissive as she had been led to think – especially when her new boss implies that she may not be returning to Fables after all…

Buy Links

Amazon UK-  http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Retreat-Perfect-Submissive-ebook/dp/B00FKYCY5U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1380789873&sr=8-2&keywords=the+retreat+kay+jaybee

Amazon US- http://www.amazon.com/The-Retreat-Perfect-Submissive-ebook/dp/B00FKYCY5U/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1380791878&sr=1-1&keywords=the+retreat+kay+jaybee

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Knowing Her Place (Book 3)

Knowing Her Place-New rope

Blurb

With her head full of unanswered questions, exhausted from her fairytale experience at the hands of Dr Ewen, Lady Tia, and the staff of the adult entertainment service provided by The Retreat, Jess Sanders is desperate to leave Scotland, and return to her usual submissive position at the exclusive Fables Hotel in Oxford.
Having been thwarted in his plans to keep Jess at The Retreat permanently, its owner, David Proctor, isn’t willing to let Jess go back to her dominatrix, Miss Sarah, and her employer, Mrs Peters, without sending her on one final mission. Only if she succeeds in her task will Proctor remove the collar of servitude he has locked around Jess’s neck.
With a list of five unknown addresses in her hand, Jess Sanders is placed in a car and driven from The Retreat towards England. With no idea what or who awaits her at the first stop, all Jess can hope for is that her journey will eventually take her back to where she belongs.
To the Fables Hotel, where Jess Sanders truly knows her place.

Buy Links

Amazon UK- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Knowing-Place-Perfect-Submissive-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00KI0I8XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400826557&sr=8-1&keywords=knowing+her+place+kay+jaybee

Amazon US-  http://www.amazon.com/Knowing-Place-Perfect-Submissive-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00KI0I8XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400826765&sr=8-1&keywords=knowing+her+place+kay+jaybee

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I hope this selection has given you plenty of inspiration! Don’t forget all my work is available on download- just check out the Kobo store, ITunes and Amazon!

Happy reading,

Kay xxx

The Need To Write

It’s pouring with rain outside- it often is down here in the South West of England. Even though it is only 8am in the morning, the corner of the cafe in which I sit and write every morning is filling up fast.

I’m a familiar face in here. I usually sit at the same table- although only because it has good light – I’m not precious about sitting in the same spot or anything. Consequently I am something of a fixture and fitting, and people that come to the cafe regularly see me here, writing away, every time they come through the door. There is even a rumour that I keep a rolled up sleeping bag and pillow under the table, and never actually go home.

About ten minutes ago, one of the lovely regulars came and asked me a question I’m pretty sure they’ve been dying to ask for months. ‘Why are you always writing, don’t you ever get a day off?’

It’s a good question. One my husband asks pointedly every now and then.

The answer is simple- well ‘simple’ is probably pushing it!

I need to write.

Don’t confuse this with being the same as ‘I want to write.’ That is a different thing altogether.

Once upon a time I did want to write. I dreamt of completed stories, and maybe one day having a book all of my own.

books 2

These days it’s an addiction. An unstoppable, nail biting, obsession of disappointment and triumph. A roller coaster I can’t imagine ever getting off.

I used to fit my writing around my job and my life, now it is very much the other way around. As a consequence of course I get massive hits of guilt. So, rather than giving my job less time, I give it more; as I live in fear of letting my employers down, and am frequently to be found processing spreadsheets late into the night.

Then comes the real guilt- when you find yourself only half listening to what your child has been up to at school because you have just thought of a killer line for your latest book and if you don’t write it down NOW, you’ll actually explode!

exploding head

My children (who luckily for me are both very creative in their own right, and totally get the feeling of absorption which producing something unique brings), are wonderful. Whenever I apologise to them for being only half as attentive a parent as I should be, they tell me off for being daft. Telling me they are just fine thank you very much- and could they have a life to karate, their friend’s house, the cafe now please…

Sometimes I look around at my undusted house, with the fluff on the carpet sometimes reaching epidemic proportions, and feel very sorry for my husband. He didn’t sign up for this. When we met and married almost 18 years ago, I was almost the complete opposite of who I am now. My home was cleaned and scrubbed to within an inch of its life. Dust was captured long before it had the chance to settle, and it was a rare day when there wasn’t a fresh cake baking in the over. And somehow, alongside all this, I had 3 part time jobs and was doing a PhD.

My husband must miss that multitalented woman, domestic goddess, and fellow academic. Sometimes I think he deserves a medal for putting up with me, because- to get back to the point of this blog- I really do only have a one week off a year for a holiday, along with a few random days off at Christmas and Easter each year. Not because I have a maverick boss yelling at me, not because I am forced to- but because I can’t stop. I just can’t.

pen and paper

Okay, there are lots of deadlines to deal with, and there are times when I am genuinely very much up against time- but often I have to work because- well, I have to work! If I don’t I’m a ratty, fidgety, grumpy person who is in serious danger of losing my usually permanent smile.

And why wouldn’t I smile all the time- I am addicted to the best job in the world!!

So be warned anyone out here who hopes to write a book some day. You too could also be kidnapped by the world of the imagination- a world that is so much safer than the real one, because you are always in charge. You get to pick the words that shape the lives of everyone you invent- a powerful narcotic indeed…. (Oh- and if you do want to risk it and write-make sure you are married to a very very understanding husband or wife!!!)

Happy reading,

Kay xx

 

 

 

 

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