It’s Day 5 of my 5 Days Of 1001 Nights blog series!
Day 5!!! How did we get here so fast?!
Last, but certainly not least, on our week long wander through the 1001 Nights Press library, we come to a fabulously funny and very clever A Skiff of Snow, by the gorgeous Sharazade!!
I just love this story. It plays beautifully on the misunderstandings that can so easily occur if you confuse American English with British English!
And from today using this special COUPON from Smashwords- you can get it for FREE!!!!!
To use the coupon: Go to Smashwords
Enter coupon BA86W. Good for 100% off, until July 12.
I adore this short erotic tale- see what you think…
Miranda’s on vacation in a foreign country, and she’d like nothing better than to meet–and, well, greet–a handsome local man. But cultural and linguistic differences seem to thwart her every attempt. How can she tell a man what she wants if they can’t understand each other?
Follow Miranda’s adventures as she attempts to overcome the language divide between English–and the English.
An erotic short story of 5000 words. Contains graphic language, lusty situations, and variant spellings.
A Skiff of Snow
Top 10 Things I Like About England Great Britain
1. The men
2. The way the men talk (accents!!)
4. The sights
Oh, what the hell. 5-10 would just be “the men” again. This whole country is like some Playground of Lust for me. Part of that might be my mood, granted. I just got out of a three-year, nine-month relationship (academic calendar). Nothing dramatic; it died of boredom. Just before we did. He actually broke up with me by text message, and when I first got the message I had to stop and think who he was. Well, I know three people named “Jim.” But still. We’d long since stopped sending sexy texts to each other. We’d go to classes, hang out with separate groups of friends, and on weekends we’d watch TV together, have perfunctory sex, and then go to sleep. There was nothing wrong with him, but let’s face it, there was no spark. It was a case of “any sex is better than none.” I wasn’t exactly heartbroken when we split – except then I was left with no sex!
At first I’d worried that London wouldn’t be different enough from any large American city to make me really feel that I was in another country. That lasted about, oh, five minutes.
For one thing, everyone in England (well, except for other tourists like me) speaks with a British accent. Yes, yes, I know, that’s obvious – except that somehow it still came as a surprise to hear everyone talking that way. What is it about a British accent? Or British accents, I should say, because there are so many different ones. I’m no Professor Higgins, I can’t tell a London accent from a Leeds accent (or from a Welsh accent, which certainly pissed off a bartender once), but I don’t care, they all sound delicious. Sexy. If I shut my eyes, I want to sleep with every man who speaks to me. If I open them, that only eliminates the ones who wear wedding rings. They sound good, and they look good.
The only hard part about listening to them – English people, I mean – is figuring out what they’re saying. Oh, I knew the basics before I came here – we say apartment, they say flat – but there some were really more confusing. Like I guess kids don’t sing “Skip to My Lou” here. Or if they did, it wouldn’t mean the same thing at all, though it made me smile inside every time I saw a restroom. Then in the tube station (there’s another one, tube for subway – pronounced “chewb”), there’s a sign at the edge of the train platform: Mind the gap. What? OK, the gap is that small space between the platform and the train car. You have to step over it to get into the train. I don’t mind doing that. So shouldn’t it be, Don’t mind the gap? Are they telling you that you ought to be annoyed?
A nice woman next to me on the train (sorry, the tube) explained that “mind” in this sense means “pay attention to.” The British mind the gap, they mind the children, and they never mind the bollocks. That last one means… well, it means that lady had some very colorful vocabulary for someone about the same age as my mother. Or “colourful,” I guess it should be. I swear I can hear the extra “u” in when English people say words like that. Yesterday I asked a man to tell me about his “favorite neighborhood” in London just to listen to him. And his favourite neighbourhood even had a theatre in it. Ah, heaven!
I had a few days in London, just seeing the sights—the men at the Tate Gallery, the men wandering around Kensington Gardens, the men outside Buckingham Palace, and just the ordinary men. They were all so nice! And special, somehow.
Like I went to buy a paper – and the little stand said News Agent. Agent! Doesn’t that sound sexy? Like James Bond. The agent was gorgeous, too. Dark, and … well, dark. Dark-skinned, with dark eyes. Of Indian descent, perhaps? I could totally imagine him having champagne with me in a swank hotel, after we’d escaped from some international spies, and before I could finish, he would take my glass, push me down onto the bed, and …
Not only can you get Sharazade’s A Skiff of Snow FREE for the next 2 weeks, until tomorrow night, you can also get Jeremy Edwards The Pleasure Dial, Gregory Allen’s Bottoms in Love, PM White’s Volskie, and my Not Her Type, from Amazon for the BARGAIN price of only 99c or 77p!!!!!
AND DON’T FORGET THE COMPETITION!!
Just read all 5 of my blogs this week and you could win a free e-book! Count up how many times the word “wonderful” has been used!! (Not including in the blurbs and extracts) and then leave me a comment and your email address, telling me the total. The competition will remain open until next Monday, when I shall announce the name of the winner I’ve picked from a hat!!
I hope you’ve enjoyed our 5 day dip into the 1001 Nights Press!! Don’t forget to get your books while they are still on SALE!!
A huge THANK YOU to Sharazade for letting me share so many extracts from her wonderful pubishing house.
I’ll let you go now so you can getting on with reading all your new e-books!! Don’t forget to count up the wonderfuls- including this one!!!! WONDERFUL!!