Everyone Needs A Bedtime Story

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Being around for ages…

In only one months time I will have been indulging in this writing lark for 12 years. I never dreamt I’d be around so long!

There are many advantages of being considered one of the “old school” – something that happens more and more these days, and seems to have a lot to do with the fact I was a pre- Fifty Shades erotica pedlar.

Unreasonable expectaions

For me, it’s a more relaxing affair writing erotica these days. It hit me the other day that my old manic need to have a new publication out every five minutes has gone. I suppose the need to prove myself has passed – although I am yet to reach the stage where I think what I write is any good! I never think that- and I can’t imagine that I ever will.

I’ve also got used to being asked for all sorts of advice, from how to write, how to get published, and how to sell books once all the ‘hard’ work is done. It only seems a minute ago that I was the one too scared to ask for help- now I’m running erotica writing workshops! Only two weeks ago I was sat in the lovely Octavo Wine Bar and Bookshop near Cardiff Bay teaching the finer points of sexing up the ordinary within erotica.

IMG_20160720_203017

 

It was tremendous fun, and I feel incredibly privileged to be able to chat to aspiring writers. Of course, it is also reassuring to know that erotica still has talented writers interested in joining its ranks – heartening after the past few years of poor quality material by half-heartened writers flooding the e-market in the hope of making a quick few quid.

I chose to think it’s experience that has brought me this privilege rather than age!!

Having said that I’m more relaxed about this erotica lark these days, I should say that doesn’t mean I don’t get extremely over excited when I get a story accepted. When nice things happen I still feel the same sense adrenalin rush as I did when my first story was taken all those years ago.

Per Sub 3

 

This week for example, when the latest ETO Magazine came out, I discovered that my BDSM romantic trilogy, The Perfect Submissive Trilogy,  is currently Xcite Books best selling book! And for that matter, The Voyeur (my darker BDSM threesome novel) is at number 10 in the chart!! The smile on my face when I saw that was wide indeed.

Xcite list13907010_1138122962920617_4393393841054891496_n (1)

 

With more writing workshops lined up (Kd Grace and I will be teaching at Sh! Hoxton in September- details soon), a new book almost written, and new sex toys waiting to be tested (I get gifts sent to me all the time in the hope I’ll review them- now that is a perk of being an ‘established name’), my life in erotica continues a pace…and I still love every second of it.

Happy reading,

Kay xx

Erotic Book Thinking: Christmas Stocking Fillers

I was recently asked by the smashing folk at the ETO Magazine to compile a list of what I considered to be,the best erotica paperback publications to pop into your lover’s Christmas stocking.

ETO Christmas 2015

I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult my task was. We all know how much awful erotica is out there, however, there is still a massive amount of brilliant material available. For me, good erotica has to conform to three rules.

Every book in my top 20 was –

  1. Written well
  2. Instantly captivating (if I am not engaged by the end of page one, I never turn to page two)
  3. Doesn’t patronise the reader by assuming low intelligence (I hate that!)

Obviously we all like different things from our literature, so there was no way I could  compile a list where every book would appeal to everyone. I did try and include something for every taste.

At first I was concerned that so many of my friend’s books were included in the list, and that there was a danger I’d be accused of favouritism. All I can do is to reassure you this was not the case- and moreover- I am so grateful that I’m fortunate enough to call some of the very best erotic writers in the world my friends and colleagues. 

So- who did make the list? The full article can be found in this months ETO – but I can tell you that it included these novels, alongside 15 other hot reads…

Named and Shamed – Janine Ashbless

Big Bad – Sommer Marsden

Cassandra’s Conflict – Fredrica Allyn

Control – Charlotte Stein

Undone – Kristina Lloyd

Cassandra's ConflictNamed and Shamed

Why not check out the magazine to find out what the other top 5 novels were, along with my top 10 anthologies…http://www.erotictradeonly.com/

Of course, there was one disadvantage to writing this article- I couldn’t possibly include my own work! It would have been horribly self serving and narcissistic! But a HUGE THANK YOU to all those people who told me Perfect Submissive should be on the list. You are all very kind. If you did want to have a peep at that trilogy, you can find it here! (Yes, I am cheeky!!)

The Per Sub- new rope

Happy Christmas Shopping!

Kay xx

Release Blitz and Tasty Taster! The Honey Peach Affair by Dale Bradford

Today I’m delighted to be able to bring you an extract from Dale Bradford’s first novel, The Honey Peach Affair. Unusually for this site, this is not a work of erotica, but a mystery based around the erotica and porn industries.  Who better than Dale, after many a year at the ETO Magazine, to delve into the industries darker side?

Intriguing…

Blurb:

A social drink with Britain’s hottest adult entertainment star is the starting point for the biggest adventure of film reviewer Bruce Baker’s life.

When her sister asks for his help in investigating the star’s disappearance, law-abiding Bruce chalks up a charge sheet worthy of a career criminal, during his encounters with the unscrupulous and the fearsome – while dealing with a disagreeable boss who is looking for an excuse to sack him.

Sharing his journey is a virtuous anti-porn campaigner, whose cause Bruce inadvertently elevates to national prominence, and it culminates in Bruce sitting on one of the biggest stories any journalist could ever hope to uncover.

But he doesn’t want to write it.

The Honey Peach Affair is a murder mystery with elements of romantic comedy. It takes place in 2003 and is set in the adult entertainment industry.

HP_D_COVER

Extract-

…Although the M5 traffic was quite heavy Bruce pulled into the hotel’s car park ten minutes before he had arranged to meet Rachel. He strode purposefully through the hotel’s glass and chrome revolving door and approached the counter in the lobby which had a Love Shack sign above it. A slim woman in her early twenties, with a mass of dark curls, was sat behind it.

“Hello Gina,” Bruce said, reading her name badge. “I’m Bruce, from AMG magazine.”

Gina explained that the Love Shack bash was taking place in one of the function rooms and that complimentary refreshments were being served on the hotel’s lawns. She wrote Bruce’s name and the title of his publication on a blank badge and offered to take him through.

“Is it okay if I wait for a colleague first?” he said.

“Sure. You didn’t come together?”

“No, she… it’s a long and winding road of a story.”

“It’s a her? That’s awesome. I’ll get her badge ready. What’s her name?”

Bruce smiled. That’s a good question. Her name is Rachel. But Rachel what?

Gina looked up at him expectantly, felt tip pen poised. “Her name?”

“It’s probably best if she tells you,” Bruce said.

“Huh?”

“I don’t really know her that well…”

“You don’t know her well enough to tell me her name?” Gina looked sceptical.

Bruce closed his eyes. He hadn’t thought this through. He paused for a few seconds and then inspiration struck: “She’s a freelancer. A freelance photographer. That we’ve booked through an agency.”

“Oh right,” Gina said. “Now it makes sense! Well, I hope she’s broad minded, we’ve got some pretty scary looking new lines on show here today.”

Out of the corner of his eye Bruce spotted Rachel emerging from a taxi that had pulled up outside the hotel. She swished through the revolving door and ran up to him.

“Bruce, darling,” she said, hugging him. “How wonderful to see you again!”

Gina stared at her. “You guys do know each other!”

“Of course we do,” Rachel said, returning the stare.

Gina said: “You haven’t brought a camera?”

“Why would I bring a camera?”

“It’s okay,” Bruce said, pulling his small digital out of his jacket pocket. “She can use mine.”

“Look, if you guys have got something going on, that’s cool,” Gina said. “You don’t have to…”

“Thank you Gina,” said Bruce, ushering Rachel towards the function room.

“Wait, photographer lady!” Gina called after them. “You need a badge to get in.”

Bruce groaned. They returned to the desk and Rachel spelled out her name for Gina, who wrote it in the space provided and handed it over with a thin smile.

“Rachel Rogers?” Bruce said, staring at Rachel’s badge as they walked towards the function room.

“Do you have a problem with alliterative names, Bruce bloody Baker? At least they are easy to remember.”

He laughed. “No, but I thought you’d be a Peach.”

“That sounds a bit like a chat-up line. Are you trying to seduce me, Mr Baker?”

“I meant your surname,” Bruce spluttered. “I thought it would be Peach.”

“Same mother, different fathers,” Rachel tutted. “Don’t you listen to anything I say?”

A sign on the door of the function room read ‘Restricted access – invited guests aged 18+ only’ and a hefty man with a shaved head and goatee beard stood guard. He glanced briefly at Bruce and Rachel’s badges and, moving only his left arm, held the door open for them.

As they went through, they were greeted by another hefty man with shaved head and goatee beard. The function room was bigger than Bruce expected and decorated in the style of a Venetian ballroom, with flocked red and gold wallpaper and elaborate chandeliers dotted around the ceiling. Three booths had been constructed down one wall and opposite them was a series of desks with Love Shack representatives sat behind them. To the rear were two sets of doors, leading out to the lawns.

A few dozen people were milling around inside and talking in hushed tones. They turned to look at Bruce and Rachel as they entered but, failing to recognise either of them, quickly returned to their conversations.

“Why would they stage a shindig here, in the arse end of the country?” Rachel asked Bruce.

“This is hardly the arse end…”

“They’re never going to get the London media to travel to a regional event. If something is important it takes place in London.”

“You’re remarkably well informed for a sales rep…”

“Oh come on Bruce, it’s common sense,” she said dismissively, heading for the booths.

Each featured a table at the front stacked with posters and DVDs and a sign indicating the name of the performer – Wanda Wette, Cherry Chicolo and Honey Peach. All three were unoccupied. Behind the tables were stacks of plain cardboard boxes, containing the new products.

“Where are they?” Rachel asked.

A young girl in a black Love Shack T-shirt wandered over and said brightly: “They will be back in about twenty minutes.”

“What are they doing, having their implants serviced?” Rachel said.

The young girl’s enthusiasm was undimmed by the catty remark. “They’re outside having some photos with the press. Can I help you with anything?”

“We’ll wait,” Rachel sighed. She approached the Honey Peach booth and picked up a Legend of the Amazon Women DVD. Reading the back cover blurb, she wrinkled her nose.

“You go and do your work,” she said to Bruce, shooing him away with a hand gesture. “I’ll stay here and brush up on my porn abbreviations.”

Bruce dutifully whipped out his camera and took a series of pictures.

Gina approached him with an A4 envelope. “Hey Bruce, here’s a press kit for our new products, which we’re calling the Signature Series. The Head Master, Spasm Chasm and Hand Job are lifelike casts of each girl’s head, vagina and hand…”

“Has there been much interest?” Bruce asked, accepting the pack.

“It’s still kind of early,” Gina said. “We’re expecting more people this afternoon.”

“Maybe it would have been better to hold it in London?”

She raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at him.

He added: “You know, as far as the London media is concerned, if an event is important it takes place in London.”

Before she could reply they were both distracted by the piercing sound of a glass being smashed and raised voices. A short stocky man in a black suit was dragging a taller man in through the doors by his hair. The shorter man had pulled the taller man’s head close to him and he was swearing quietly in his ear.

“Oh Lord…” Gina said, covering her eyes with her hand and lowering her head.

The two men continued through the function room where the short one flung the tall one towards the bouncer, and made a gesture which appeared to suggest he wanted him removed from the building.

“Will you excuse me?” Gina said to Bruce. “You’re going to be here for some time, right?”

Bruce nodded.

“Cool, because before you go, Mr Sachetti wants to meet you,” she said.

“As long as that isn’t him,” Bruce said, gesturing at the short man.

The look she gave him told him that it was. “I’m afraid he can be a bit old school.”

Bruce jumped as he felt someone put their hand on his shoulder and he was relieved to see it was Rachel.

“Well there’s nothing like a PR disaster to liven up a dull Tuesday afternoon,” she said.

“What happened?”

“The turnout is so disappointing there are heaps of unopened bottles of wine on the tables outside,” she said. “That reporter from a local freesheet decided to stuff his bag with a couple.”

“Really? That’s a bit off…”

“That’s what journalists are like,” she said. “No offence but they’re freeloaders, especially lower down the orders. Taking exception to it is like walking into a public toilet and complaining it smells of pee. Speaking of which, do you know what’s in those boxes on the stands? Rubber casts of each girl’s fanny – how gruesome is that?”

“That’s shocking,” Bruce agreed, trying to suppress a smile.

“How sad must some men be to buy rubber body parts to shag?”

Bruce shrugged. No good could come from him answering this question. “Shall we go outside and see if the photographers have finished?”

They hadn’t, so they sat at one of the round pub-style tables. Rachel examined the label of the white wine chilling in the chrome ice bucket centrepiece. Several long oblong tables on the terrace were covered with white linen tablecloths and offered a variety of salads, sandwiches and cold meats, though they were slowly spoiling in the summer sun.

The wide expanse of lawn ran for several hundred yards down to a man-made lake where a small crowd congregated. One of the girls had been persuaded to wade in and splash in the shallow end for the photographers.

Rachel grabbed two glasses and unscrewed the cap of one of the wine bottles. “I know it’s very low-rent but I actually quite like fruity Germans,” she said, filling the glasses.

Bruce raised his glass to his lips and, shading the sun from his eyes with his hand, looked across at his companion. Her attractive face was accentuated by the backdrop of lush green lawns and bright blue summer sky.

“So what’s a nice boy like you doing in porn, Bruce?” she said. “Before I met you I thought you’d be some lecherous old creep.”

“I don’t work in porn, I work in publishing…”

She guffawed. “Okay you keep telling yourself that, darling!”

“It’s true. I’m doing the same job I was doing when I was writing about video games.”

“You were in the video games industry?” she said.

“No, I was in publishing then too,” Bruce replied, spotting the trap she had set for him.

She laughed. “So what happened?”

“One of my bosses left to start Adult Movie Guide. Hardcore pornography had just been legalised to sell in licensed sex shops and he thought porn could be the new video games, so he invited me to join him.”

Rachel removed a DVD from her bag. Staring intently at the case, she asked: “Do they honestly expect people to believe that these are real nuns? Since when did nuns have tattoos and pierced nipples?”

“Are you telling me they don’t?”

“Thank the Lord, it looks like they’ve finished the photos,” Rachel said, standing up. “Is it me or does this have the air of a really bizarre wedding?”

Bruce stood up too. The group was walking noisily up the lawns from the lake. As they approached, Bruce could see that the entourage consisted of two T-shirted Love Shack girls, a few shabbily dressed photographers and two porn stars. And neither of them was Honey Peach.

“She’s not there, is she?” Rachel said.

“It doesn’t look like,” Bruce replied.

Rachel’s face flushed with anger. She sat back down and downed the contents of her wine glass. “You told me she would be here, Bruce,” she said, emphasising each word. “I’ve taken time off work to be here today.”

“I’ll sort it out,” he said, walking towards the group.

Rachel huffed.

“Hi, I’m Bruce from AMG magazine,” Bruce said to one of the Love Shack girls. “Is Honey Peach about?”

“Have you met Cherry Chicolo and Wanda Wette?” the girl said, gesturing to the two performers, who were now snogging for the benefit of the photographers.

“I specifically came to see Honey Peach,” Bruce said.

“Unfortunately she’s let us down,” the girl said. “We’re as disappointed as you are.”

Bruce doubted that.

“But we’ve got Wanda and Cherry!” the girl said with a flourish, gesturing again in their direction.

The group reached the terrace. Some of the photographers followed Cherry Chicolo and the Love Shack girls inside while the others sat down at a table and made a start on the wine.

Wanda Wette approached Bruce. “Did you just say you were Bruce Baker?”

Bruce nodded. “Hi, how you doing?”

Wanda calmly picked up the open bottle of wine from the table, looked at the label for a few seconds and then poured it over Bruce’s head. “That’s for what you said about me last month.”

The photographers cheered. One asked her to do it again so he could photograph it.

“What did I say?” Bruce spluttered.

“That you’ve seen more attractive sacks of potatoes than me,” Wanda said.

Bruce considered how to respond as the cold sticky wine ran down his chest, causing his white linen shirt to become transparent and stick to his skin. The commotion had brought people from inside the function room out onto the terrace. One of the Love Shack girls saw what had happened and quickly stepped in to steer Wanda away from Bruce.

“Bravo Bruce, you certainly sorted that out,” said Rachel, applauding in a slow, mocking manner.

Bruce picked up a paper napkin and wiped the wine off his face. “Just one of my fans,” he explained…

***

 About the author:

Dale Bradford has been writing for consumer magazines, national newspapers and specialist interest publications since the 1980s. He is currently the editor of Erotic Trade Only (ETO), a B2B magazine for the UK adult retail sector. The Honey Peach Affair is his first novel.

Links:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Honey-Peach-Affair-Dale-Bradford-ebook/dp/B00XGTNOG4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431552972&sr=8-1&keywords=the+honey+peach+affair

http://www.amazon.com/Honey-Peach-Affair-Dale-Bradford-ebook/dp/B00XGTNOG4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431586917&sr=8-1&keywords=The+HOney+Peach+Affair+Dale+Bradford

***

Good luck with your first story Dale

Happy reading,

Kay xx

Ten Years of Luck

As you’ll know if you follow my blog, last month I celebrated my tenth anniversary.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself. There are genuinely days when I can’t believe that I have this amazing life. Somehow I have gone from being an archaeologist, to medieval historian, to an erotica writer, and I’m still not sure how it happened! One minute I was writing about crime rates in thirteenth century Leicestershire, the next I was describing how a dominant woman was getting her rocks off over a man tied to an armchair!

If you read this blog, or my Tweets and Facebook posts, you will notice a certain over-use of words such as ‘wonderful’, ‘amazing’ , ‘fantastic’ and ’lovely’. This is not due to a lack in my vocabulary, but because life is good, and those words say it all.

Every piece of erotica I have written so far has been penned within an ever growing pile of notebooks with my faithful black biro, while sat in the far corner of my favourite coffee shop, in the heart of SW England.

notebooks 1

I’ve tried to drag myself into the twenty first century, and write directly into my laptop, but the best I can do is to type up the initial draft (a process which often involves much tutting as I fail to decipher my spider like handwriting). This is the time I do most of my editing, as I transfer my words of imaginative (hopefully) smut (definitely).

ETO- 10 yrs of KJBa

To round off my anniversary celebrations, the wonderful (see, told you I used that word a lot) ETO magazine has published an article about all the changes I’ve seen in the world of writing erotica since I began back in 2004! An amazing amount of luck has helped me along my way- check out the article, and you’ll see what I mean!!

ETO 10yrs KJBb

It’s been quite a week for me press wise- not only was I lucky enough to be in the ETO magazine, but my contemporary romantic fiction alter-ego Jenny Kane has been out and about in the Western Morning News, celebrating the launch of my novel, Another Cup of Coffee into the countries bookshops! Now that wasn’t something I wasn’t doing ten years ago!!!

I’ve been rambling on for long enough about this anniversary of mine, so I’ll leave you now. It really has all been rather incredible!!

Happy reading,

Kay xxx

ETO 2014 – A Brit Babe Weekend!

My eyes are just about open as I write this blog on my way home from the ETO awards and show for 2014!

ETO NEC

What an occasion! Not only did I get to look around the wonderful stalls, marvel at the vast arrange of sex toys and erotically enhancing products that make even my imagination boggle,  but I got to hang out with four of my fellow Brit Babes!

Lexie, Victoria, Kay, Kd and Tabitha

Lexie, Victoria, Kay, Kd and Tabitha

As all the Brit Babes live miles from each other, literally from the top to the bottom of the UK,  we rarely all meet in person. So you can imagine how much catching up we had to do as Lexie Bay, Victoria Blisse,  Tabitha Rayne,  Kd Grace and myself chilled over coffee, laughed over cockrings, and snacked in fine style on delicious fruit flavoured lube covered ice cream, courtesy of the lovely Becky at System Jo– yes really! The only thing that could have improved it, is I missing Babes, Lucy Felthouse, Lily Harlem, and Emmy Ellis could have been there.

Eating Lube Flavoured Ice Cream!!

Eating Lube Flavoured Ice Cream!!

lexie and lube

Lexie Picking A Lube Flavour!

Then, still digesting our unexpected snack, we zipped back to the hotel to prepare for the main event- the ETO awards!
With 3 Brit Babes up for the Best Erotica Author Award- (myself, Kd Grace and Lucy Felthouse)- spirits were high as we donned our posh frocks.

Vic and TAb

Victoria and Tabitha

Lexie and Kay

Kay and Lexie

The meal was delicious,  but was soon over, and before we knew it the ceremony had begun.

dinner
Dale Bradford and Lee Schofield hosted the event with style and opposing coloured suits- and it all seemed to happen so fast!

From Best Stand to Best Consumable, and on to Best Lingerie Retailer… in no time it was time for Best Erotic Book Brand.

Kd and I had been elected to represent Xcite books,  but as they had already won for four years running, we’d assumed someone else would win- but no! Fifth year running!
We were up on that stage receiving cheers and claps. Magic moment. Very proud that my work might have helped with the win in a small way!

Collecting the Best Erotic Book Brand for Xcite

Collecting the Best Erotic Book Brand for Xcite

It only seemed like seconds later that the best author category came round.
With Sylvia Day and Violet Blue in the running us Brit Babes had a tough call to win. But we did SO want one of us to win- and I am delighted to say my dearest friend, and right arm, Kd Grace got it!

Kd Grace Gets Best Erotica Author Award!

Kd Grace Gets Best Erotica Author Award!

I couldn’t be more thrilled. So well deserved. Kd was- without doubt- the best writer of erotica from the five nominated- and my voice is still hoarse from cheering and my hands are sore from clapping!

Five Brit Babes and Two Awards!

Five Brit Babes and Two Awards!

I’ve had some wonderful emails and messages from people saying how sorry they were I didn’t win. Thanks to you all- but don’t you be sorry- I am on cloud nine!  I know it is the ‘done thing’ to say how proud I am of Kd, and that I don’t mind not winning.  But I am an erotica writer- I don’t do the done thing. So when I say that, I mean every word of it. I couldn’t be prouder of Kd if I tried!! Frankly the Brit Babes rock! And boy did we whoop up the fun in the dancing afterwards!

Anyway, back to the awards ..

Next was Best Journalist and our table was on its feet again as Cara Sutra won her second award- and then, to add a cherry to our cupcake- Renee Deyer of Sh won Best Manager. In each case, a better person could not have won. They both work so hard and, on a personal level,  have done so much for erotic writing, that we writers were backing them both to the hilt.

With happy tears in our eyes,  sore throats, and heads buzzing with it all we hit the dance floor.
The music was fantastic, with vocalists who were top notch.

Then it was back to the hotel were we chatted until the wee small hours.

awards and champ

And now, after a bleary but happy breakfast, I am on my way back to reality.

breakfast

What can I say?
Thanks ETO.
Thanks to everyone who voted
Massive congratulations to all the nominees and winners.
Oh- and see you next year!

Happy reading

Kay xx

PS- More photos to follow x

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