Kay Jaybee

Everyone Needs A Bedtime Story

Erotica brings freedom

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to teach one of my erotica writing classes at the brilliant Eroticon conference in London. As soon as I walked through the doors, to be surrounded by fellow erotica authors and sex bloggers, I felt relaxed. Not something I’d have thought possible before I entered the world of erotic writing fourteen years ago.

Sadly, I don’t have the time to go to as many such events as I’d like to these days, but every time I do, I’m touched by the same thought- writing and reading erotica gives a slightly different kind of freedom to other styles of writing. it’s all equally valid- but it still feels different.

I was recently reminded of a blog I wrote for Chloe Thurlow some time ago, which plays with this point a little.

Not only is the writer of erotica able to live out any fantasy and scenario in their heads- usually way beyond the remit of what they’d do in real life- but they can take their readers to places they’d never dared go before- and turn them on whilst they are doing so. There is a certain thrill in that knowledge alone. The thought that my words are providing others with the ultimate pleasure, without them having ever met me- wow- that’s powerful stuff!!

 

The following is part of a blog I did for Chloe Thurlow, which expands my point…

…”As Kay Jaybee, I have something of a reputation. I am frequently referred to as the ‘Queen of Kink;’ and when I meet people at readings, I’m often seen with a paddle in hand, skimpily clad, and whip wielding. This ‘adopting of a fantasy’ role is just that: a fantasy. I am, after all, in the happy making business! Would I really want to spank the odd arse and tie up the occasional passing person? Well – yes – of course I would. But would I actually do it? Would I push my own boundaries beyond the realm of paper and pen? Well, that’s up to you and your imagination to decide…

After almost a decade of writing smut I’m more and more convinced that one of the main issues people have with erotica writers isn’t a disapproval of what we write, but a sense of being threatened by it. They (and I know I’m generalising here) are uncomfortable with letting their own imaginations widen; of pushing their own private boundaries a fraction. Are they perhaps afraid of what they may discover about themselves?

boundaires

If that sounds like you, then try, just try. Read a little erotica, after all, what happens within the safe confines of your own mind while you are reading it, is for your knowledge alone. The boundaries we push within our own heads – like our dreams – are ours and ours only. They are, in their own way, a special kind of freedom…”

I started to write erotica by accident- but now, fourteen years in- I write it for the sheer exhilaration of it. The freedom of it. Maybe to bring me closer to the person who I’d like to be  if I was a little braver? I’m not sure…but that doesn’t matter- because I do know I’m making a few other people happy with my words.

Isn’t that what we are here for?

Happy reading,

Kay xx

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4 Comments

  1. Posy Churchgate

    I love how you look at this, we erotica writers should feel able to come out of the shadows and stop being so furtive, and our readers (I wish) should be loud and proud about selecting sexy reading matter. I guess we need to keep pushing the envelope.

  2. May

    I agree – people are threatened by things they don’t know or behaviour they fear they may not live up to. Erotica may literally threaten some peoples view of what is right and wrong, That may be one of the reasons they shun it. To me sex is a part of life and a story can contain as little or as much as the writer wants to put in. Some will be sex I have had, some will be sex I will never have – and that’s OK. Fiction should give the reader an escape whatever genre it is, it is there to fire imagination. I love my imagination being stoked 😉 and erotica can do that.
    I heard your talk was inspiring – hope to hear you another time 😉

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